Duality

About "Duality"

     What truly motivates you? Are you more motivated by the achievement of something or are you more motivated by the prevention of loss? Are you moving towards something you desire or are you moving away from something unpleasant? Are you motivated by fear or by courage?
    Though each posed question reflects opposite ends of our emotional spectrum, they are not necessarily or always mutually exclusive. Many times the reasons we do things can be influenced by both the pursuit of a positive as well as the prevention of a negative.
     There is no need to choose between the two as long as the mission itself remains the chief focus. Often we as humans wrestle with this duality. We want to do things for the right reasons. It's because we know that the reason we do things is just as important as what we do.
     When I struggle with my motivations, I turn to God. I ask Him to help me stay tuned into Him and His guidance. I ask that He give me the strength to properly deal with anything that hinders my alignment with Him. I pray that He helps me move beyond my human understanding to rely on His wisdom instead.
     I refuse to let myself become immobilized by debilitating self-doubt. If I allowed that, then I would never accomplish anything. God created me and He knows me. He knows me right down to every strand of hair on my head. I trust Him to direct my path and to help me address anything, including myself, that presents issues along the way.

Duality 

Ambition and anger,
  I am a two-headed beast.

Grounded firmly and steadily-
  stretching ahead of me
  is a long and winding road,
  full of surprises, 
  both good and bad,
  of which I callously chose.

I have nothing to lose
  but what I have not had at all.
What good is life if I don’t fall?

Then I can’t get up-
  the pleasure of rising again
  after falling so hard
  almost takes away the bitterness.

Almost, so I keep striving again,
  being weighed down
  by this two-headed beast that I am
  but finding the energy and ability 
  to again plunge forward
  and keep going…
Though not knowing for certain
  if my so-called sacrifice will pay off.

What will I show for my life?
Hardship and strife,
   or peace and joy?

It is my choice 
  and it is my right
  to claim what is for me!

So,  angrily I survive,
  ambitiously I strive,
  being fueled 
  by this two-headed beast that I am-
  wondering which will stand in the end.

No time nor need to worry now-
  my Master has a plan.

"Duality" is an excerpt from Candidreams: I Remember the Beginning.