November 15 - November 21
It is a thought that makes itself present
each and everyday.
It is an inhabitant of my head
that will not go away...
a remembrance of a dream
recurring nearly 25 years.
I can hardly sleep now
in fear it will reappear.
It was like a roller coaster ride
but there was no amusement.
I was trapped in a big, white car
furiously and mysteriously moving,
rocketing out of control
down a dark and winding road.
All the windows were down,
the night air punishing and cold.
The wind whipped against my skin
and I was screaming all the while.
The car wouldn’t stop
containing this terrified child.
Sometimes childhood characters
appeared in the driver’s seat.
In this dream they were predators
and I, a delicious treat.
The vicious woodpecker wasn’t playing-
it had shining, razor sharp teeth,
so did that menacing werewolf
and it was my heart he was going to eat.
Clowns were usually funny
but wicked and sinister this one’s laugh.
The hulk was my all time favorite
but an evil villain, his part in this cast.
Then sometimes the driver’s seat would be empty.
There would be no one driving at all
but never did that stop
the course of this rocketing car.
What made me have this dream,
the same things over and over again?
What could have possibly happened that night
to cause this nightmare to begin?
I called up and asked my mom,
explaining the thoughts wouldn’t go away.
She was shocked and saddened to hear
I had any traces of that day.
It wasn’t just a dream she said,
that night happened for real...
wasn’t no make believe character
but a person manning the wheel.
It wasn't just some car ride.
He wasn’t trying to thrill us-
that night he was having a breakdown.
He was trying to kill us.
Somehow, in her telling me
of that night on 609,
there came some relief to me.
It was no deficit of my mind.
I haven’t had that nightmare in awhile.
It has since in my dreams failed to creep
but how can I ever really know for sure
when I still struggle so to sleep?
"6ooooh9" is an excerpt from Role Reversal: Turn Pain Into Power.
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